Time to get a doctorate

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I think it’s time I was a PhD in something. I don’t, obviously, have the time to study, nor indeed the desire. So the easiest option is to purchase one online. The question is, what’s the best deal? I quite like the look of the Doctor of Divinity at the [Universal Life Church->http://www.ulc.net/index.php?page=shop&cat=14], although I might have to get ordained first. (But good news, you can get instant online ordination!) Then [it costs $29 for the doctorate->http://www.themonastery.org/catalog/drofdivinitydd-p-68.html?osCsid=ac8e9853148ec5df2951c8b6aacf92d8]. The great [Hunter S Thompson->http://books.guardian.co.uk/news/articles/0,,1419500,00.html] got his doctorate via mail order from here, so I’m drawn to it immediately. I mean, you can’t question academic credentials like that. So, if anyone wants to buy me a Doctorate feel free. You’d be doing a great thing for literature. If you could find it cheaper even better. And I get a lovely certificate as well. Oh and I could also get a range of different ID cards and even an authentic Certificate of Sainthood. Bargain!